Well, I haven't been posting a lot this past week - for two reasons.
One, playing with my new camera - reading the manual and learning the different settings and programs, reading online how to take good photos and finding some good programs to crop and manipulate the pictures I took.
The other reason I haven't been posting very much is because I have been trying to deal with the side effects of taking antibiotics. For me, they make me very tired and more emotional and cause me to feel very raw and vulnerable. So it's not only psychiatric medications that can cause problems. Also, my post-traumatic symptoms reared their ugly head through a dream the other day so I'm on a lower functioning scale this week.
However, I have been remembering my skills for coping when I was in the worst of the PTSD symptoms years ago. Things like comforting and nurturing myself were absolutely critical then. Television, tea and reading good novels were three of the things that got me through. Reducing my stress by reducing my obligations also helped alot ... accepting my reduced ability to "function" well in society. And playing was another really good thing to do. It took me out of my feelings of grief and loss for a while. When I experienced a re-occurrence of PTSD symptoms the other day, namely intrusive dreams, I went to the PNE. Hot dogs, popcorn, ferris wheels, and lots of wonderful, beautiful, magnificent animals were such welcome distractions from my emotional pain.
I think that our past, our current stresses and the kinds of things we think as well the attitude we have towards life has so much effect on our mental health. I have found that looking for the small pleasures have been some of the biggest aids to my own recovery from the past abuse. Having an attitude that life is really made up of a lot of small moments, many of which I can influence, has helped me immensely in working my way towards a happier life. I get overwhelmed, stressed out and more easily upset when I worry about a whole bunch of things or sometimes when I think too far ahead about stuff. I like the present moments better. I like thinking about today more. I like when I remember to feel how much the hot water warms my body up when I'm washing dishes or the simplicity of sitting and reading a good novel. Now is the most precious moment of all and I like when I remember that. I sometimes get anxious about preparing a meal but when I get down to chopping those vegetables I find that I am more than capable of doing this and it is quite delightful to be present and in the moment.
So I'm going to keep reading and watching tv and drinking tea and playing on my computer and interspersing it all with the things I have to do. Those are the things I focus on and look forward to and they make me feel good. They help me get through the harder stuff - always.
yup. my photos. so much fun.
Caer Weber
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