ISSUE #40 cont'd -- Cognitive Distortions

#5. Jumping to conclusions

What are cognitive distortions? Different types of thoughts that are really “wrong” thoughts, errors in thinking, that we have and that can send us spiralling down into depression. I gave you the first one “All-or-nothing thinking” in issue #15 June 29, the second one “Overgeneralization” was in issue #22 July 6, the third “Mental filter” in issue #27 July 13, fourth “Disqualifying the positive” in issue #31 July 25.

Today I talk about how we might jump to negative conclusions so often and no matter what the contrary evidence is.

MIND READING

First of all, there’s “Mind Reading”. That’s when we are sure that other people don’t really like us, even though they don’t say so or show any real signs of it. We also don’t check out what we’re assuming. For example, we see someone on the street who doesn’t see us and say hello. Maybe they are absorbed in their own thoughts but we think “See? He doesn’t like me and is trying to ignore me”. Then we respond by either withdrawing or counterattacking in some way which could then set up a negative relationship and possibly make our assumption come true eventually.

FORTUNE TELLING

The other way we jump to conclusions is through what is called “Fortune Telling”. We are very quick to predict a negative outcome about things and we take it for a fact. “I KNOW this will turn out badly.” We make the mistake of believing our fear and emotion for fact.

We may get to the point of believing that we will be depressed for the rest of our life and the situation is absolutely hopeless. Nothing will ever help. But we can’t predict the future. It’s impossible (as far as I know). We don’t know what’s just around the corner. We don’t know who we will meet tomorrow, or something we might hear next week that suddenly changes our whole outlook.

Maybe it feels safer to jump to these conclusions for then we won’t be disappointed. Better not to hope for the best possible because if it doesn’t happen my disappointment will be unbearable. Disappointment is indeed often painful and seems very difficult to bear. But as time has proven over and over, we humans can bear such feelings and more. What is guaranteed unbearable and long-lasting is the depression we create with these assumptions.