ISSUE #20 cont'd -- Information about

LIVING WITH A CHRONIC ILLNESS

 This is from an article I really like written by psychologist Deborah Kors on the stages we go through when we have developed or been diagnosed with a chronic illness. Although she refers mostly to a physical illness it is totally applicable to a mental illness as well. If you want to read the complete article go to

www.denisboyd.com/pdf/Winter%202009.pdf

Today I just want to summarize the four stages she says we go through. Next time, hopefully tomorrow, I will list some or all of the strategies she suggests for coping with and living with a chronic illness.

 My comments are in italics.

Stage 1

This stage involves experiencing and dealing with the symptoms of the illness, some or all of which may be new to you. You may feel very confused and overwhelmed by it all and you might feel quite afraid of the symptoms.

You may also feel a great sense of loss of your old life and way of living as well as the new limitations your illness may be putting on you. (This can often lead to anger about the illness, blaming yourself for it, and depression about it.)

Maybe some of you will try to ignore and even deny your symptoms. It is all too painful to deal with.

You may see a number of health professionals who may offer conflicting diagnoses as well as treatments for your condition.

Stage 2

Kors says this is when you get your official diagnosis. Maybe this will provide some relief to you as it explains what has been happening to you (for a while or maybe even all your life). On the other hand, you may feel more uncertain about your future and how much improvement you can expect to happen and that you can hope for.

This is the time when the reality sinks in that you have a chronic illness and it’s really hard to accept. Many of you may not accept it and keep pushing yourselves beyond your limits, making your symptoms worse. Others of you may experience more despair about your illness.

Often people try to find the “magic cure”. (In terms of mental illness, and maybe even physical illness as well, many look to medications only hoping they will remove all of the symptoms.)

Finally, many of us may cut off others from us, especially if they don’t seem to be supportive, even though we yearn for their support and their understanding.

Stage 3

Here is the time you accept that you have a chronic illness (whew). You may feel lots of grief about the loss of your former self as well as other losses you have experienced because of the illness. You may question why this is happening to you, and may go on to question your religious or spiritual beliefs as well.

Stage 4

Now is the time you find a way to integrate your illness into your life. You understand your symptom patterns and have learned how to structure your life around them. You may develop new interests that are more compatible with who you are and what you live with now.

Possibly you have lost some relationships along the way as a result of your illness but it’s also possible that you have found some new ones too, and/or some of your relationships have strengthened.

You may find more meaning and a sense of purpose again (or maybe for the first time).

Finally, you no longer define yourself or are defined by your illness. Now it is seen as simply one aspect of who you are.