SUPPORTING PEOPLE WITH A MENTAL ILLNESS
Please note: While this is mainly for supporting people with a mental illness … it would be better if we treated everyone this way.
Take care of your own needs first. | Don’t treat them like a child. They are competent adults. Very. | Learn as much as you can about the illness |
Have compassion. A lot of it. | Be gentle and kind. | Stay calm. |
Don’t give advice. Don’t tell them what to do. | Hug if it’s okay. Check first. Don’t assume it is. | Accept person for who they are. |
Be honest. | Don’t try to rescue them. | Don’t judge them. |
Don’t criticize. | It’s okay to say “I don’t know how to help you”. | It’s okay to ask them what to do. |
Tell them how strong and able they are. LOTS!!! | Check your assumptions. Better yet - don’t assume. | Laugh a little. Laugh a lot. |
Be creative. | Go play. | Go for lots of walks together. |
Go swimming. | Read together. | Stay grounded. |
Don’t tell them to ‘snap out of it’. | Don’t tell them you know exactly how they feel. | Ask them how they feel. When they answer - ask them to tell you more. |
Ask! Ask! Ask! | Listen! Listen! Listen! | Be flexible. They might have to cancel. |
Understand that they are doing their absolute best. | The illness is not their fault. It may not be anyone’s fault or it may be an abuser’s fault. | Tell them you’re sorry if you hurt them. |
Create a safe environment. | Tell them what a wonderful human being they are. | Go to support groups for “support” people. |
Know your own limits. | Be very clear. | Do not cause more harm. |
Believe what they tell you. | Bring them flowers. | Bring them cookies. |
Make them smile. | Wear a clown nose. | . |
Don’t minimize the illness – “Oh we all have those kinds of days.” We don’t. | Don’t tell them to forgive anyone. | Love them with all of your heart. |
Created by Renee Caer Weber. June/03.
These are strictly my own opinions and beliefs and do not necessarily reflect the views of any organization.
Awesome, Caer. My favourite is 'Ask!Ask!Ask!' and 'Listen!Listen!Listen!' It's hard to understand unless you have been through it. But I think a good analogy is with burns: everyone has had a sunburn but not everyone has had a 3rd degree burn, needing to be hospitalized. Likewise, there is a big difference between the blues and clinical, suicidal depression. I just wish people could understand that concept, instead of offering simplistic solutions that only makes us feel more like failures.
ReplyDeleteIf you can't understand, that's OK. Give US a chance to explain; read about it; ask 'What can I do to help?'
Sharon